


Take My Hand and Don't Ever Let Go

by Crown_of_Winterthorne



Series: Love Like Summer Falls Away [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Polyamory, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-18
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-08-15 16:23:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8063494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crown_of_Winterthorne/pseuds/Crown_of_Winterthorne
Summary: A follow up to "First to Love You the Most" and "City Lights Like Stars in the Sky." It's officially a trilogy.It's been a week since Bokuto and Akaashi told each other "I love you." All that's left is to tell Kuroo that they love him too, but sometimes finding the right moment—and the words—is easier said than done.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I hadn't intended for this to become a trilogy, but after "First to Love," I knew that I needed to do a follow-up with Kuroo. "City Lights" can still be read as a stand alone, and isn't necessary to read before this one or "First to Love," but I highly recommend it.

They were going to tell Kuroo today. The thought kept running through Koutarou’s mind, bringing with it an aching joy in his chest and knots in his stomach. He kept waiting for the universe to sweep in and steal everything away from him, as if to say that love was nothing but a great cosmic joke. Something he had been foolish enough to hope for and believe in.

It was harder to be anxious when Akaashi was there right beside him, as he had been all morning. All night. For the last week and the one before, and before that. As far back as Koutarou wanted to remember. He measured time in events. In people.

There was only Before Akaashi. Before Kuroo. Before Us and After Us.

Akaashi had soothed his nerves earlier in the morning, when they'd woken up curled together in Koutarou’s bed. He was good at it, had known just what to say when he'd realized Koutarou’s thoughts were cycling between best and worst possible scenarios. Akaashi was nervous too, although he had tried not to let it show, although they both knew there was no need to be nervous in the first place.

Kuroo loved them too. Of course he did.

It might have been easier if they hadn't needed to wait so long to tell him. If they had realized it at camp—or rather, been able to vocalize it—instead of on a train station platform, miles away from their third. The city had never seemed bigger than when they were on opposite sides of it. They had called Kuroo later, missing him already, needing to hear his voice, and it had been all Koutarou could do not to blurt out  _ “Keiji said he loves me! You do too, right? Because I love you.” _

That wasn't the kind of thing that he wanted to say over the phone. Neither did Akaashi, and only careful resolve had kept them from doing it then or during the dozens of texts sent between one another throughout the week. Being busy with practice and resuming school had helped to distract them, but it had also limited their opportunities to get together with Kuroo. They would see each other again soon for another weekend training camp, but weekend camps didn’t often allow time to sneak away together. They were also much too far away. Even Sunday couldn't come fast enough.

Now that Sunday was here, Koutarou felt like he wanted it to be Monday already.

There was a gentle squeeze on his hand and he looked over at Akaashi, standing beside him on the train. To the casual observer, he looked serene, but there was a tightness to his eyes that suggested his own worry.

“You're overthinking things again, Bokuto-san.”

“And you aren't?”

“Point taken. I only…” Akaashi sighed, shaking his head as if this were harder than he thought. Koutarou was surprised. Akaashi was soft-spoken, but he was never at a loss for words. “I'm afraid that Kuroo-san will be hurt because we told each other first.”

“He… might be?” Koutarou considered slowly. “But he's always been understanding about you and me that way. We see each other literally all the time. It wasn't on purpose.”

“I worry about the two of you leaving me behind, but I forget sometimes that we leave Kuroo-san behind every time we go home.”

And that, Koutarou thought, was the hardest part about their threesome. Balance. Fairness. Time and Distance.

He and Kuroo had known each other the longest. Kuroo had been his first real kiss and he'd been half in love with him for years. But then a first-year Akaashi had swept into his heart with all of that quiet confidence and cleverness. Whatever strange rivalry he might have had with Kuroo over Koutarou’s attention had somehow turned into a friendship with him instead and the three of them became The Three of Us.

But it was hard to be Three when only Two lived near each other. Went to school together. Played volleyball together.

Koutarou felt guilty that he was the only one who never worried about being left behind. He and Akaashi were together now. He and Kuroo would be together at university. He wasn’t the one who’d ever be left alone. But then, he worried about being left behind in other ways.

“Two years,” he said softly. He could barely hear himself over the din of the train and it's passengers, but he knew Akaashi was listening. “Less than that, and we'll all be together for good. If you'll still have us. Me.”

Akaashi gripped his hand painfully tight and looked at him with steel-sharp eyes. “I would wait forever.”

The smile that crossed Koutarou’s face was immediate and brilliant. “You won't get tired of me?”

“I haven't yet, Bokuto-san.”

Delivered with a wry smile, that was more reassuring than if Akaashi had vehemently denied the idea. It gave Koutarou the confidence to pout at him, teasing.

“Akaa~shi! You're supposed to say  _ ‘never!’ _ when I ask you something like that!”

“But you're exhausting. I could never lie to you. Do you want me to lie to you, Bokuto-san?”

“Only when it's good,” he tugged Akaashi closer so that their shoulders bumped together.

“Ohh. Like when I tell you you're the best captain ever?”

“Akaashi!!”

Akaashi laughed quietly and laced their fingers together at their sides, running his thumb idly over the back of Koutarou’s hand—one of his only nervous tells. Koutarou wished that they were somewhere more private so that he could have lifted Akaashi’s knuckles to his lips and reassured him. If the train car had held fewer people, he might have done it anyway.

Kuroo was waiting for them at their stop; they spotted him leaning against a pillar and looking far too casual and calm for the feelings storming about in Koutarou’s chest. Did he have any idea just how important today was? How important  _ he _ was?

Koutarou was practically vibrating with the need to hug and kiss Kuroo and tell him everything. Akaashi held him back as they departed the train, giving him a patient look that nearly felt like betrayal.

“How can you be so calm?”

“I'm not. Not even close.” He took a deep breath. “Let's go get Kuroo-san.”

They crossed the platform, letting go of each other's hands as they reached Kuroo. It always felt strange to see him in street clothes—almost as strange as it was with each other. They tended to live in their uniforms and volleyball gear. But Kuroo looked handsome in a black V-neck tee and dark, fitted jeans that showed off the length of his legs. He smiled and ran a hand through his hair when they approached.

Koutarou hugged him, because he always hugged Kuroo hello, but it was friendly, with hands clasped between their chests. Casual. Not at all the tight embrace he wanted to give. He wanted to scream, but instead he just offered his usual, “Hey, hey, hey! Kuro~o!”

“Bokuto~o!” Kuroo mimicked his tone, grinning. He looped his arms over their shoulders as they walked together, navigating the station and streets like they owned them. “Akaashi, hey. Fuck, I've missed you guys this week.”

“Us too,” Akaashi said.

“Practice ever get any better?” Bokuto asked, because that was the normal thing to do. Because he couldn't simply shout out what he wanted to say. The weight of Kuroo’s arm over his shoulders was comforting. Familiar and steadying. He wrapped his own arm around Kuroo’s back, hanging his hand on the taller boy's shoulder.

“No volleyball talk,” Akaashi warned. He hadn't shrugged Kuroo’s arm off of his shoulders but he didn't return the casual embrace either. He pressed the thumb of his right hand into the palm of his left as he added, “We agreed.”

“Practice still sucks, and that doesn't count, Akaashi. We agreed no details. I still get to bitch and moan about line drills and sadistic old coaches.” Kuroo's evening texts had been filled with the same complaints. Koutarou felt a surge of sympathy—their own practices had gotten harder too. He couldn’t imagine what Nekomata was putting his players through in his determination to get them to Nationals.

Karasuno had been, if not an inspiration, then a portent of things to come. The relentless upstarts ready to devour anyone in their path. Neither Nekoma nor Fukurodani were willing to stand aside and simply allow that.

Letting Kuroo vent about practice was an easy and welcome distraction. Aside from complaining to Kenma, Kuroo would never tell these things to anyone else. Even with Kenma, Koutarou knew that he held back. He trusted Akaashi and Koutarou with the full weight of his frustrations. He never shared team secrets, and with tournaments nearing, they all avoided details about their strengths and weaknesses, but sometimes Kuroo often just needed to give voice to the concerns and irritation that came with captaining a team like Nekoma.

Koutarou counted himself lucky to have a vice-captain who was as invested in the team as Akaashi was. Kenma cared for his team, adored Kuroo, but he was able to separate himself from volleyball in a way that the rest of them couldn't. Not only that, but Kenma  _ needed _ to separate himself from the stress that came with a sports club, and Kuroo refused to overburden him with his captain's worries. Nor did he like to burden Kai with them, even though that's what his vice-captain tried to tell him he was for.

“You need a distraction,” he told Kuroo. “I think it's a good thing you've got me and Akaashi here.”

That had been the reasoning they gave in the first place, when suggesting a Sunday date so soon after training camp, when they should have been focusing on preparations for prelims. Kuroo had eagerly taken them up on it.

“Just in time to save me from going mad,” Kuroo agreed. He gave a long exhale, the tension leaving him along with his breath. “So. What do you want to do?”

“We were thinking ice cream in the park,” Akaashi answered. “To start with.”

“To start,” Kuroo echoed with a half-grin. “Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.”

At some point during their walk to the park, Kuroo unwound his arms from Akaashi and Koutarou’s shoulders and their volleyball talk shifted to movies and video games. Koutarou wasn't sure how much more patient he could be. He needed to tell Kuroo, needed to know if he felt the same. Even Akaashi’s nervous habits were more pronounced than usual. If he had worn rings or leather bracelets like Kuroo did, he probably would have twisted them right off of his hands by now.

Koutarou noticed the relief in Akaashi's eyes when Kuroo handed him his ice cream from the vendor. It would give him something to do with his hands other than wring them. Kuroo must have noticed it too.

“You're both twitchy today. What's going on?” There was suspicion in his voice, but his expression was one of curiosity.

“We need to tell you something,” Akaashi said softly. Kuroo looked like he'd been sucker-punched and Akaashi hurried to reassure him. “No! No, nothing like—it's a good thing!”

“A really good thing,” Koutarou added. He never wanted to see that look on Kuroo’s face again, not even for a second. He'd looked heartbroken. “Great, even!”

Kuroo didn't look convinced. He gestured towards a patch of grass beneath a tree near the playground. “Come tell me.”

“Somewhere quieter,” Akaashi said, catching his wrist and tugging him towards a more secluded area, where a copse of trees near the park's small pond offered shelter from prying eyes.

He and Koutarou had already agreed that they wanted a more romantic moment with Kuroo than they had shared on the train platform. Koutarou just hoped that Kuroo didn't think they wanted to avoid a scene, that they were letting him down gently. That was how those things were done in the movies, right? Akaashi was usually so good with words—why did he have to go and say it like that?

They were silent, almost awkwardly so, as they walked across the large swathe of grass, all focused on their ice cream and their own thoughts. Koutarou thought it should have been easier—they'd had an easier time admitting their attraction to one another in the first place. It hadn't been difficult to realize that they didn't have to pair off when they could simply be all three together. Why did it have to be so intimidating to tell Kuroo that they loved him? Why hadn't they just told him last week on the phone, romance be damned? Because now Kuroo was upset and Akaashi was nervous and Koutarou was pretty sure that he felt like throwing up his half-eaten ice cream.

“So, we were thinking,” he started, trying not to trip over his words and failing almost at once in his rush to say them, to fix things and make Kuroo understand, “if like, Akaashi is my setter and I'm his ace, then what does that make you?”

“It makes me the guy who's gonna stuff your spikes right back down your throat,” he snapped back and Koutarou realized that Kuroo was more than suspicious. He was scared. They were handling this so badly! This wasn't supposed to be so hard. “Now what's going on?”

“Bokuto-san, we agreed no more volleyball metaphors,” Akaashi said in a tone that was both exasperated and fond as he tried to regain control over the situation. He knelt down on the grass and Koutarou sat beside him, dragging Kuroo down too. Somehow they managed to not drop their ice cream.

“Just tell me straight,” Kuroo said, letting himself be pulled down to sit between them on the cool grass. “You're making me fucking nervous.”

“Well…” Koutarou knew he was blushing. He'd loved Kuroo for what seemed like forever; finally realizing it should have made him brave.

“We love you, Tetsurou-san,” Akaashi said bluntly, like he was spitting out the words before he could change his mind. His cheeks were pink too, and not because of the heat. “I love Koutarou-san and I love you. We… we’ve been wanting to tell you for a week now, but doing it over the phone didn't feel right.”

Kuroo didn't answer right away. He looked stricken again, but Koutarou didn't think it was in a bad way this time. More like… he simply couldn't believe it. So Koutarou told him too, taking his turn.

“Tetsu. I love you. I love Akaashi and he loves both of us.” He bit his lip. “D’you… Do you love us too?”

Kuroo was quiet but it was watching his expression shift that filled Koutarou’s chest with a growing warmth. To see the surprise wear off and the smile that crossed his face, slow at first, go from uncertain to ecstatic. That was beautiful. He wasn't used to seeing that kind of smile—without amusement, without secrets—on Kuroo’s face. This was his rare, real smile. The one he only shared with three people in the entire world.

“Idiots,” Kuroo said with affection. He ran his free hand through his hair, looking at the pair of them through the sweep of his bangs. He was blushing too. “Of course I do. I love you both. You didn't know that?”

“We hoped,” Akaashi started to say, but Koutarou was already throwing his arms around Kuroo—abandoning the remains of his ice cream to melt in the grass.

“We totally knew. Never doubted it for a minute,” he grinned, pressing his lips to Kuroo’s. It felt good to be able to do that, finally. Felt better when Kuroo returned the kiss.

“Uh-huh. Sure,” Kuroo's smile was back to its usual teasing smirk. He was relieved; Koutarou could tell by the way his shoulders relaxed and he leaned into the embrace.

“Just like you didn't think we were breaking up with you?” Koutarou asked, arching one pale brow even higher.

Kuroo gave an indignant snort of laughter. “Yeah. Seriously, Akaashi, who starts a  _ happy _ relationship conversation like that?”

“Words fail me around you, Kuroo-san. You know that,” Akaashi offered, placating.

“Nice try. I'm not Kou,” he said, smiling to take any bite out of his words. “I won't fall for your pretty flattery, Keiji-kun.”

“I would never,” Akaashi said, his tone dispassionate but his eyes sparkling.

“I don't believe you,” Kuroo shook his head, leaning over to kiss him too. It was sweet and gentle and made Koutarou’s heart melt just to see. “Not even a little bit.”

“You believe we love you though, right?” Koutarou asked, needing to be sure. He was glad that they could joke about it, but he wanted no doubt left in anyone's mind. Least of all his own.

“Always have,” Kuroo said softly. “But I won't deny that you kinda scared me for a second there.”

“I am sorry,” Akaashi said, cheeks coloring.

“I know. It's okay.” He draped his arm over the younger boy's shoulders and glanced over at Koutarou, smiling. “You're stuck with me now.”

“I don't mind.”

“Me either.” Koutarou put his head on Kuroo’s shoulder, sliding one arm around his waist. Kuroo offered him a lick of his matcha ice cream, almost absently, but it was a thoughtful gesture that made Koutarou indescribably happy. Even when Kuroo gave a flick of his wrist so that Koutarou ended up with it on his nose.

“Jerk,” he chuckled, wiping at his face with the back of his hand. “Can I change my mind? Trade you in for… I dunno, Lev or Yakkun?”

“Nope. Too late, babe. You love me.”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “I love you. Love you both.”

Akaashi echoed his sentiments, wrapping his arm around Kuroo’s waist too, so that he was gripping Koutarou’s forearm as they held their taller boyfriend between them. It should have been too hot for cuddling, but the need to touch and reassure each other overrode that.

They sat in near-silence, easy and comfortable, the way that it always was between them, as they finished their ice cream. Kuroo shared with Koutarou—without any more tricks—and Akaashi offered them both a taste of his. Koutarou considered dropping his own ice cream more often; sharing like this was considerably more enjoyable. Especially now that the knots in his stomach were gone.

He rubbed his cheek against Kuroo’s shoulder, sighing softly. “What do you want to do now?”

“Movie, maybe? This date was your idea; you two know the rules. You ask, you plan.”

Akaashi hummed. “We were afraid to plan anything beyond this. Just in case.”

Kuroo looked offended. “In case it went bad?”

“In case it went well.” Akaashi’s voice was steady, colored with offers and promises. Koutarou thought it sounded like he had never been nervous at all.

He didn't think he would ever stop being impressed by Akaashi.

“Yeah, well,” Kuroo laughed, “I hate to break it to you, but my parents are home.”

“Movies, then,” Koutarou decided, only a little disappointed. The only thing more difficult than trying to find time together was finding a private place to spend some of it. As summer turned into fall and tournaments grew closer and practices more intense, they would have even less of both. It made him wish that they were already in university and living together like they talked about.

It wasn't even so much a matter of hormones and lust, though that was certainly on his mind after Akaashi’s sly comment. Koutarou was looking forward to coming home everyday to Kuroo and Akaashi, cuddling with them on  _ their _ sofa, cooking together in  _ their _ kitchen and saying goodnight in  _ their _ bed. Being able to freely hug and kiss them, to run his hand through Kuroo’s hair or wrap an arm around Akaashi’s waist just because he could. He wanted to be with them in every way possible, and that was hard enough with Two, nevermind Three.

As it was, their luck with the park had worn off. Three kids charged down the path leading to the pond, followed by a pair of harried mothers who gave the high schoolers suspicious looks when they spotted them sitting in the quiet alcove of trees. They'd untangled themselves at the first shout, but since Akaashi was the only one who looked halfway respectable with his neat hair and expensive clothes…

Koutarou would have been suspicious too.

“Movies it is,” Kuroo agreed, getting to his feet and offering his hands down to the others. He pulled them up easily, their laughter catching the attention of the mothers again and earning them disapproving looks.

“They think we're delinquents,” Kuroo smirked as they walked past the shrieking kids. The mothers watched as if the three were going to snatch them away and sell their organs for fun and profit. “Group of guys like us? Clearly we're up to no good if we're at the park on a Sunday afternoon.”

“Well, we are pretty far away from our natural habitat,” Akaashi said. “And speak for yourself.  _ You _ look like you should be hanging out in a dark alleyway.”

“Too cruel!” Kuroo clutched at his heart. “I can't help it if I'm naturally tall, dark and handsome.”

Akaashi rolled his eyes. “Modest too.”

“Keep that up and I won't buy you any popcorn.”

“I thought you loved me.”

“ _ I'll _ buy you popcorn,” Koutarou said, tossing an arm around Akaashi’s shoulders. “Kuroo too.”

“Thank you, Kou,” Kuroo said primly.

“You're welcome, Tetsu,” he answered back in the same tone. Akaashi just rolled his eyes again—it was amazing they didn't get stuck—and shrugged Koutarou’s arm off of his shoulders.

“Remind me why I put up with you two?”

“‘Cause Kuroo’s tall, dark and handsome?” Koutarou said with a shrug.

“And Bokuto buys you popcorn,” Kuroo added.

“Really? You couldn't say something nicer?” Koutarou protested. “Like how awesome my straights are? Or how handsome  _ I _ am?”

Akaashi groaned. “That's it; I am breaking up with both of you.”

“Liar,” Kuroo laughed, “you love us.”

There was a pause and a heavy sigh that, instead of worrying him, brought a smile to Koutarou’s face. He could tell the difference between Akaashi’s genuinely frustrated sighs and the ones filled with affection.

“Yes,” he said, openly offering his hands as they walked through the park, side by side by side. He smiled when they both accepted, squeezing gently, as if to reassure them. As if the gesture wasn't enough in itself and he needed to be sure they knew. “Yes, I do.”

“Me too.” Kuroo’s tone didn’t leave room for argument.

“Me three,” Koutarou laced his fingers with Akaashi’s and swung their hands like a little kid, joyful and free with his affection. This was everything he could have wanted, hoped for. No matter what fall brought, this was his future.  _ They  _ were. “Always.”

 

—END—

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, and feel free to come find me on tumblr at [crown-of-winterthorne](http://crown-of-winterthorne.tumblr.com)! I always need more people to talk to about Haikyuu!! and these three beautiful idiots.


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